Oh, for sure.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
A soft heart
I always find myself having an almost uncomfortably soft heart, especially on the last day of camp. Lots of friendships that, at the beginning of the week, were non-existent; emotional tiredness; and an intimacy that comes from looking back on a week full of God's presence.
This week 2 of the guys in my cabin accepted the Lord into their hearts. It was actually a huge surprise.. I had expected to be the one to 'lead them' into their salvation. There can almost be this pressure when you're a counselor that, if you don't do it right, then the kids won't experience Jesus, that they won't get saved, that they will miss out on the blessing....
False.
These guys didn't need me. Jesus didn't need me. Their salvation came from him, not from me. It was such a blessing for them to then share with me about their decision, and to feel the love and affection they had for me as their counselor, but it was such a relief to see Jesus wrapping his arms around these kids without any need for my assistance.
My cabin was great. Real joy and laughter occured every day... by the end of the week there was a real unity present that wasn't there in the other cabins. They made each other laugh, they made me laugh: it was just a good time. Oscar, Ainsley, Matt, Tony, Carson, Tyler, Carl, and Ray. What awesome guys.
Soft heart syndrome comes from a week of laboring. It truly is labor... maybe 6 hours of sleep a night, a full day of throwing your entire body--and emotions--into your cabin and into your team. I think lots of camp relationships occur because that's when people are most intimate--they are completely going crazy and passionate and they are seeing an extreme version of themselves and each other. I almost cried today hugging my co-counselor, David... it was his first week counseling, and he was such a support this whole week and it was a huge blessing working with him... I started to choke up and gave him a big pat on the back.
It was also a blessing to have such support from above.The directors continually encouraged me and blessed me with their leadership. Those guys do a great job.
What a week. There's rumors of going to see the new Harry Potter... but im so tired. Then again, i leave to go on vacation on lake michigan tomorrow... so i can still have 24 hours of exhaustion before i leave. Oh well.
Pray for Tyler and Carson. Those are the two guys that became christians this week--they truly are two awesome guys, and I really want their faith to continue to grow like it has this whole week.
This week 2 of the guys in my cabin accepted the Lord into their hearts. It was actually a huge surprise.. I had expected to be the one to 'lead them' into their salvation. There can almost be this pressure when you're a counselor that, if you don't do it right, then the kids won't experience Jesus, that they won't get saved, that they will miss out on the blessing....
False.
These guys didn't need me. Jesus didn't need me. Their salvation came from him, not from me. It was such a blessing for them to then share with me about their decision, and to feel the love and affection they had for me as their counselor, but it was such a relief to see Jesus wrapping his arms around these kids without any need for my assistance.
My cabin was great. Real joy and laughter occured every day... by the end of the week there was a real unity present that wasn't there in the other cabins. They made each other laugh, they made me laugh: it was just a good time. Oscar, Ainsley, Matt, Tony, Carson, Tyler, Carl, and Ray. What awesome guys.
Soft heart syndrome comes from a week of laboring. It truly is labor... maybe 6 hours of sleep a night, a full day of throwing your entire body--and emotions--into your cabin and into your team. I think lots of camp relationships occur because that's when people are most intimate--they are completely going crazy and passionate and they are seeing an extreme version of themselves and each other. I almost cried today hugging my co-counselor, David... it was his first week counseling, and he was such a support this whole week and it was a huge blessing working with him... I started to choke up and gave him a big pat on the back.
It was also a blessing to have such support from above.The directors continually encouraged me and blessed me with their leadership. Those guys do a great job.
What a week. There's rumors of going to see the new Harry Potter... but im so tired. Then again, i leave to go on vacation on lake michigan tomorrow... so i can still have 24 hours of exhaustion before i leave. Oh well.
Pray for Tyler and Carson. Those are the two guys that became christians this week--they truly are two awesome guys, and I really want their faith to continue to grow like it has this whole week.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Wilderness-man
When the people followed Jesus into the wild-er-ness in mark 8, what were they going on? I mean, Jesus did not say "If you do this, i'll feed you", or "You will see financial blessing!". He didn't even say "Don't worry, you won't die." He just went, and they followed.
It's crazy because, even though he did feed them after 3 days, they had nothing else to go on other than trusting that he knew what he was doing--that he knew where he was taking them. If they had died following him, it would have been to his glory. They went with the knowledge that, "Hey, wait. I could die doing this. But that's ok."
That is actually what Jesus expects. Our death is something that we need to be comfortable with. Jesus actually believes more in my death than I do (thanks Rflu), so when he does something absolutely crazy like lead me 3 days into the wilderness, he's not thinking "Man, I sure hope he can handle this, otherwise..." No way! He's operating out of the truth of me already being dead, so death isn't an issue.
So here I am. The wilderness. I will die if i go back now. I could die if I stay here. That's something that I'm slowly becomming ok with. All I really know is the guy that I'm following.
It's crazy because, even though he did feed them after 3 days, they had nothing else to go on other than trusting that he knew what he was doing--that he knew where he was taking them. If they had died following him, it would have been to his glory. They went with the knowledge that, "Hey, wait. I could die doing this. But that's ok."
That is actually what Jesus expects. Our death is something that we need to be comfortable with. Jesus actually believes more in my death than I do (thanks Rflu), so when he does something absolutely crazy like lead me 3 days into the wilderness, he's not thinking "Man, I sure hope he can handle this, otherwise..." No way! He's operating out of the truth of me already being dead, so death isn't an issue.
So here I am. The wilderness. I will die if i go back now. I could die if I stay here. That's something that I'm slowly becomming ok with. All I really know is the guy that I'm following.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
What are you doing?
Here's what I'm doing.
-Writing: (and recording) the next album, aiming to be done mid-september; a short-story (which is more of a 'study' of certain elements--character, setting, tone, etc--that I'm toying with in a larger project.)
-Reading: The Mystery of Marriage by Mike Mason; The Fires from Heaven by Robert Jordan; and a collection of Dostoyevsky stories, currently White Nights (love his characterization of a house in the beginning... writers back then were just good at that sort of thing.)
-Watching: Life on Mars (the BBC version. Seriously, folks, this show is pretty cool. The US version seemed like it was good, though it only lasted one season so they had to end it early, and thus had to change the ending. The BBC version is allegedly quite different, and it continues.)
-Listening: Not much, actually. I'm in this musical mode where i'm playing more than i'm listening, and when i'm listening it's to myself. It's a good season... doesn't happen much, so i'm letting it happen.
-Hearing: There is a new revelation of the Cross and of Christ to step into every day. Neat.
I leave friday or saturday for camp, then up north. these next 2 1/2 weeks will be good.
-Writing: (and recording) the next album, aiming to be done mid-september; a short-story (which is more of a 'study' of certain elements--character, setting, tone, etc--that I'm toying with in a larger project.)
-Reading: The Mystery of Marriage by Mike Mason; The Fires from Heaven by Robert Jordan; and a collection of Dostoyevsky stories, currently White Nights (love his characterization of a house in the beginning... writers back then were just good at that sort of thing.)
-Watching: Life on Mars (the BBC version. Seriously, folks, this show is pretty cool. The US version seemed like it was good, though it only lasted one season so they had to end it early, and thus had to change the ending. The BBC version is allegedly quite different, and it continues.)
-Listening: Not much, actually. I'm in this musical mode where i'm playing more than i'm listening, and when i'm listening it's to myself. It's a good season... doesn't happen much, so i'm letting it happen.
-Hearing: There is a new revelation of the Cross and of Christ to step into every day. Neat.
I leave friday or saturday for camp, then up north. these next 2 1/2 weeks will be good.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
For the record...
...my life IS good. After looking at my latest 2 posts, i realize it can come off that it's not, but my life really is. I've got a great family, I've got great friends, and I've got a great Jesus. I think acknowledging the truth in my life is important because it reminds me of from where the cross brought me. My life, not even 4 years ago, was full of hopelessness and despair. It was tough, rough, and sad. And Jesus came and rescued me from that. So all of this totally un-fun stuff going on... it's not who I am... it does not define my life... my life is defined by the Christ! (Thank God!)
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