Bobby

One of our 'usuals' came into panera today--Bobby. Coolest looking guy ever. He's a biker grandpa--totally sports the leather and the gigantic long beard, and still manages to look like the gentlest dude you have ever met (he actually calls me dude). He's been coming in for the past couple of years. I've talked to about bikes and Macs and all sorts of awesome things that he's into.

A year or two ago--back when the MDCC Tribe was still meeting up--the Lord put Bobby on my heart. I found out that his wife had been diagnosed with cancer, and I remember at one of the meetings the Lord showed me a picture that i believed he wanted me to share with Bobby. I dont think i ever did, but i definitely remember Bobby being one of hte first customers at Panera that i openly told that I was going to pray for. I found out Bobby is actually a christian--totally awesome. He came in every now and then, I would ask him how his wife was doing and he would give me updates and i would continue to pray for him. As time went on, he would come in less and less.

Today he came in, and i havent seen him in a while... I think I saw him at Leos in royal oak one time... but it had definitely been a few months... He saw me and smiled and waved and we started catching up...

...and i found out his wife died a couple months ago. He just came right out and said it. "I'm not doing too good, man." He was on the verge of tears. Apparantly, she had gotten HEALED of cancer--Bobby testified to that--and she had gone into the hospital for something else, and had been overdosed on morphine. This is where i go ????

The absolute pain that this man was in was heartbreaking. I went to the side with him and he was just talking... I didnt even know what to say. He has got to be at least 70 and he is just pouring his heart out to me right in the middle of panera bread.

I really didnt have any grid for what he was going through, and I told him that. All i could say was that God is still good... that God was in control... and I did not understand the situation at all... but that Jesus was much bigger.. and in Christ there was peace.

At the same time... i DONT know what to say. This is the point when I really go "Do I really believe what I'm saying?" I can't imagine what it would be like to go through this kind of heartbreak that Bobby is going through. But the Gospel is TRUTH. I do not understand why Bobby's wife died...but the Gospel is Truth.

idk.

i've been on this issue of death for a couple of weeks. idk why. its really challenging me, and by that I mean i am challenged. I am struggling for the "right words" or whatever or the "right mindset" in this place. All i have is Jesus, and thats all i can give to people.